This was the self-searching journey I undertook through my personal therapy sessions.

Reflection on my own attributes
It takes a lot of courage to be truthful and decisive and to step beyond one’s comfort zones. I’ve noticed that my self-consciousness and my efforts to be kind and respectful often stem from a fear of unintentionally offending or hurting someone’s pride or ego. I constantly remind myself to be patient, which helps me pace myself and be more discerning in my interactions with others. There’s also a part of me that is very aware of how I am perceived when speaking up, especially if it challenges conventional boundaries or authorities. I initially thought this self-consciousness would create safety and stability, but I’ve come to realize that it can also limit me, making it difficult to share or assert myself. There have been times when I regretted not having the courage to voice my thoughts or contributions.

Why am I constantly placing myself in such a spot?!
When faced with someone’s prideful ego or when group decisions need to be made, I often feel anxious about how I’ll be judged if my assertiveness conflicts with others’ views. Self-doubt creeps in, and I worry about appearing disagreeable or judgmental rather than empathetic and empowering. Frequently, this leads me to hesitate or withdraw from the discussion to avoid feeling trapped.

My desire to be truthful and decisive is often overshadowed by my attempts to hide my insecurity. I recognize that this ongoing struggle is a barrier to my growth and learning. I wonder how I can overcome these challenges, learn from my experiences, and become better.

Self-Growth
Through therapy, I’ve realized that I need to cultivate the courage to be truthful with myself and rely less on others or circumstances when making decisions, whether at work or in my personal life. I aim to worry less and doubt myself, striving to be authentic and not fearing the possibility of things backfiring. With this renewed approach, I hope to foster a culture of trust wherever I am, as I believe that trust is essential for healthy relationships and a more fulfilling work environment.

Quote:
“I want to remember that I am at my best when I am able to trust and make meaningful connections with people, staying focused on what is truly possible and important.  Therefore, I want to stop dropping the subject or flowing along.  I want to be truthful and have the courage to do what is right.”
~ Anonymous, 37, Manager